An ode to my mother… – Jeremy Austill

Unlike anyone else in the world, you look at me in adulthood and see both the grown man and the little boy with one glance. You knew me long before I knew myself, identifying God’s hand pressed against my soul. You prophetically saw me and set out to steward what you saw, carefully shielding me to the best of your finite abilities. You prayed, you corrected, you positioned, you worked, you served and you sacrificed. You surrendered yourself on the altar…laid in the ground as a seed…dreaming through the little 5 year old boy under your watch. 

I saw you laugh. I saw you cry. I saw you angry. I saw you kind. I saw you return from work day after day. I saw you as the most consistent thing in my universe. With awkward expertise you guided me through the teen years, being diligent to supplement any deficiencies you had with keeping me present in the house of worship. You listened, late night conversations…and you gave me room, but not so much to ever leave me feeling alone. 

I came home from camp with a word from the Lord, one you had been holding secretly in your heart for over a decade. You committed me to the Lord’s hands early in life, but it was your ever present hands that kept me there. I’m not sure if I have become the man you envisioned. Saying yes to what you saw on me as a little boy has caused me to live long distances away. I am sensitive to my deficiencies as a son in adulthood. You seemed resigned long ago to sow me into the world, and I now trust the Lord will honor your gift. 

I type today as a faithful husband and a devoted father, a preacher of the gospel and ultimately a follower of Jesus…and none of that is possible without the 18 years I spent in your home. My life is credited to you, my success is your success, my victories are your victories…

Insufficient in every way, yet it is an all-encompassing phrase…

Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Copyright © IPkabuto 2022 • All rights reserved.